Babyproofing the internet

Web 3.0 isn’t blockchains and NFTs, it’s the fact that a taco place in my neighborhood has its own mobile ordering app. I haven’t downloaded it, but I walk by the sign sometimes and I can see a little preview of its sans serif font and its flat UI colored white and teal. If I want to go into the restaurant and order a taco, the only limits on my behavior are those I impose on myself out of a desire to be normal and not be a dick. But if I access the taco place’s public API through the iOS app (gross, what the fuck), my message is restricted to the specific form the API requires.

The new web is characterized by a client-server model backed by infrastructure giants like AWS and Google Cloud. For the vast majority of internet users, all economic and social activity passes through one of a few platforms, a sort of digital kindergarten where your life is totally owned by whoever built the sandbox. This model brought the disappearance of free-form communication and an increasingly restricted online life circumscribed by the very same tech giants. The simple fact that most of these companies have “trust and safety” divisions implies that they feel a paternalistic responsibility to care for us and protect us on the computer. Like babies. Naturally, much like a real baby, the main things people like to do on the new internet are babble and ask other people to bring them food.

The trend toward flat, colorful minimalist interfaces built on React Native also reflects the move towards a baby-friendly internet. Even the buttons have rounded corners to protect your soft little skull in case you trip and hit your head.

This might be explained by inclusiveness. In the pursuit of maximum growth aka maximum inclusion, maybe we had to make interfaces so simple a toddler could use them. I remember years ago watching my 2-year-old cousin find apps on her mom’s iPad with unnerving fluency. But I think the real reason is simpler. Wittingly or unwittingly, this structural mode of the internet creates owners with the authority of parents and users with the agency of children.